The Washington Post once held a contest of
the "worst analogies
ever written in a high school essay". Listed below are some of the
winners.
"He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like
a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of
those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country
speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse
without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it." (Joseph Romm,
Washington)
"The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
bowling ball wouldn't." (Russell Beland, Springfield)
"From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an
eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and
Jeopardy' comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30." (Roy Ashley,
Washington)
"Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever." (Unknown)
"He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree." (Jack Bross,
Chevy
Chase)
"Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across
the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having
left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka
at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph." (Jennifer Hart, Arlington)
"John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who
had also never met." (Russell Beland, Springfield)
"The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin
sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a
play."
(Barbara Fetherolf, Alexandria)
"The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola
crayon."
(unknown)
