Dear Tech Support,
I am writing this letter as a last resort.
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that
the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included
in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all
other programs and launches during system initialization, where it
monitors all other system activity. Applications such as PokerNight
10.3, BoysNight 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing
the system whenever selected.
I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run
some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back
to Girlfriend 6.0, but un-install does not work on this program. Can you
help me, please!!!
Thanks, Joe
Dear Joe:
This is a very common problem that men complain about but it is mostly
due to a primary misconception.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that
Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run
everything.
It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert
back to Girlfriend 6.0 or lower. Hidden operating files within your
system would cause Girlfriend 6.0 to not work well with Wife 1.0. It is
impossible to un-install, delete, or purge the program files from the
system once installed. You can not go back to Girlfriend 6.0 or less
because Wife 1.0 is not designed for uninstall without major system
overhaul and complete financial destruction. Some have tried to install
Girlfriend 8.0 and keep Wife 1.0, but eventually the system finds the
error and forces complete system overhaul, as mentioned above. Look in
your manual under "Warnings- Alimony/Child Support."
I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having
Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire
section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all
responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of
their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command
C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of the "ESC" key
because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before
the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly
as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying
additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend
Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install
Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for
Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating
system.
Best of luck.
Tech Support
