How do you tell the difference between
Liberals, Conservatives and Southerners?
Pose the following question: You're walking down a deserted street with
your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with
a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams
obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock
.40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches
you and your family. What do you do?
LIBERAL ANSWER:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids, what is their opinion?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of
his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?
Would counseling help the victim, err perpetrator?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound
me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while
he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a
happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing!
I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come
to a consensus.
CONSERVATIVE ANSWER:
BANG!
SOUTHERNER'S ANSWER:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click ... (sounds
of reloading).
Wife: "Hun, he looks like he's still moving, whadda y'all kids
think?"
Son: "Mama's right Daddy, I saw it, too."
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.
Daughter: "Nice group, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver
Tips?"
