A little child in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed
the offering plates. When they neared the pew where he sat, the youngster
piped up so that everyone could hear: "Don't pay for me Daddy, I'm
under five."
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A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his
cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded.
His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you
know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it
up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."
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After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced
to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow
up."
"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"
"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on
Sunday anyway, and figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than
to sit and listen."
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A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service:
"And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed
trash against us."
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A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon." How do you
know what to say?" he asked.
"Why, God tells me."
"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"
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A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.
Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we
give him the money now, will he let us go?"
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After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed
all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three
times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up
in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"
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Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite
Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people
on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
"The flight to Egypt," said Kyle.
"I see ... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms.
Terri said. "But who's the fourth person?"
"Oh, that's Pontius - the Pilot.
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The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you
say prayers before eating?"
"No sir," little Johnny replies, "I don't have to. My Mom
is a good cook."
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Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, "After a worship service at First
Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year
old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet.
About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If you
don't be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have
to start his sermon all over again!'
It worked."
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A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a
bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and
reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own
cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make
you?"
"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time
ago."
"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes, a little while ago."
Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting
better at it, isn't he?"
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GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY, GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
